“You’re well hot, Miss!” Most teachers have heard something like it, often in their first year, usually from a pupil testing where the line is. In the moment it can feel minor, or even funny. Left unchallenged, it gets worse and makes teaching harder. It also tells every pupil in the room that this kind of talk is fine.
It’s sexual harassment, and it’s worth calling it that, even when it comes from a thirteen-year-old and even when it’s meant as a joke. Here’s how to handle it.
Set the tone from the start
Pupils need to know from the first lesson that you respect them and expect respect back. Some teachers agree a class charter, some talk about it at the start of the year. Others just deal with it as it comes up. Whichever you choose, know where your line is and make sure it matches your school’s behaviour policy. Then hold it.
Deal with small things before they grow
Pick up every comment, however small: a “jokey” remark about your appearance, a sexual comment about a classmate or a celebrity. Challenge it calmly, and every time. These things escalate quickly, and a comment you let go today makes the next one more likely. If a pupil has a crush on you, letting comments slide can look to them like encouragement.
You don’t need a big scene. A calm “That’s not an appropriate thing to say to anyone”, followed by the usual consequence under your behaviour policy, does more than a lecture.
Never join in
However funny the class comedian is, don’t laugh. What’s fine with your mates down the pub isn’t fine in a classroom. Laughing along, even nervously, sets the wrong tone for the whole class and blurs the line between you and the pupils.
Record it and tell someone
Log it the way your school logs behaviour, and if it keeps happening, tell your head of year or line manager. You don’t have to handle a persistent pattern on your own, and you shouldn’t. If it’s making it hard for you to teach, or making you uncomfortable, say so. You’re entitled to support.
When it’s a safeguarding concern
Some comments are about more than cheek. Sexual language that’s unusual for the pupil’s age, comments that suggest they’ve seen or experienced things they shouldn’t have, or harassment aimed at another pupil can all be signs that something else is going on. Tell your designated safeguarding lead (DSL) straight away, and record it the way your school’s safeguarding procedures ask.
Part 5 of Keeping Children Safe in Education covers child-on-child sexual violence and sexual harassment, and it’s clear that it should never be passed off as “banter” or “part of growing up”. That applies to what pupils say to each other in your lessons as much as to what they say to you. If you’re not sure whether something counts, ask your DSL. That’s what they’re there for.
Look after yourself
Being on the receiving end of sexual comments is unpleasant, however experienced you are. Talk to a colleague you trust. Most teachers have a story, and hearing theirs helps.
For more on this, Understanding and Minimising Child on Child Abuse and Understand Your Role within Safeguarding & Child Protection cover what to look for and what to do. If you teach RSHE, Building Confidence to Deliver Secondary Relationships, Sex and Health Education helps with the conversations that sit behind it.