If a child tells you something that suggests they’re being harmed, listen calmly and let them talk, don’t ask leading questions, and never promise to keep it a secret. As soon as they’ve finished, write down what they said in their own words and pass it to your designated safeguarding lead (DSL) straight away, the same day, in person if you can. That’s the job, whether you’re a teacher, a teaching assistant, in the office or on the gate at lunchtime.
It rarely feels that simple in the moment, so here’s each step in more detail. Your school’s child protection policy is the version you must follow. What follows is the common ground every policy shares, in line with Keeping Children Safe in Education.
How to respond to a disclosure in the moment
Children choose who they tell. Often it isn’t the class teacher or the DSL. It’s whichever adult they happen to trust, at a moment that suits them: while you’re wiping a table or locking up. You don’t get to pick the time, so it helps to know the steps before you need them.
- Stop what you’re doing and give them your attention.
- Listen carefully, and believe them.
- Keep your face and body language calm and neutral. Shock, anger or tears can make a child stop talking, or feel they’ve caused trouble.
- Let them tell it in their own way and at their own pace. Don’t fill the silences.
- Tell them they’ve done the right thing by telling you.
- Before they go, tell them what happens next: that you’re going to pass it on, and who to.
You don’t have to decide whether what they’re saying is true, or whether it counts as abuse. That’s not your job. You hear it, write it down and get it to the person who decides. Our course Understand Your Role within Safeguarding & Child Protection goes through this step by step.
Child disclosure: what to say, and what not to
Open questions are fine if you need a little more to understand what you’ve been told. “Tell me more about that.” “What happened next?” “What did you do then?”
What you must avoid is a leading question: one that puts words in the child’s mouth, or invites a yes or no that might not be accurate. “Did your mum hit you again?” is leading. So is “Was it your stepdad?” A child who wants to please you, or wants the conversation to end, may just agree.
Don’t investigate. You’re not there to get the full story, look at injuries under clothing, ring home or speak to the person the child has named. Lots of questions can upset the child and make things harder later if the police or social care get involved. Once you know enough to be worried, that’s enough.
And don’t over-empathise. “That’s terrible, you poor thing” comes from a good place, but it turns the conversation towards your feelings. Stay warm, calm and steady.
What if a child asks you to keep it a secret?
A child will often start with “Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell anyone?” You can’t make that promise, and it’s kinder to say so now than to break it later.
Something like: “I can’t promise to keep it secret, because if someone is hurting you I need to help keep you safe. But I’ll only tell the people who need to know.” Some children stop there. Most go on, because they’ve chosen you for a reason. If a child does stop, don’t press them. Tell your DSL what was said anyway, because a half-started disclosure is still a concern.
Partial and non-verbal disclosures
Not every disclosure is a clear sentence. A child might drop a comment in passing and change the subject, write something in a story or a note, draw a picture that worries you, or show you through their behaviour rather than words. A younger child or a child with communication needs may tell you in their own way, using gestures, signs or their communication aid.
Treat these the same way. Note exactly what was said, written, drawn or done, keep anything the child gave you, and pass it to the DSL. Small pieces matter, and yours might be the one that completes a picture the DSL is already building. If you want a firmer sense of what to look out for, our course on the signs of the four main types of abuse goes through each one.
Recording a disclosure
Write it down as soon as the child has finished. Not at the end of the day, and not at home. Include:
- what the child said, as close to their exact words and phrases as you can remember
- the questions you asked, and what you said
- the date, the time and where it happened
- who else was nearby or might have overheard
- anything you saw, such as an injury the child showed you or how they seemed
Stick to facts. If a child says “Daddy gets the belt out”, write that, not “child was beaten by father”. Sign and date your record, and follow your school’s system for it.
Passing it on to the DSL
Tell your DSL, or a deputy, immediately. If your school uses an online system such as CPOMS or MyConcern, log it there, but don’t assume the DSL has seen it. Go and find them, or hand them your written record, and make sure they know. Action might need to be taken before the child goes home.
If you work in the kitchen or the office, or you’re a contractor without a school login, find out now how you’re meant to report. Every adult in the school needs a route.
If the child is in immediate danger, or you can’t reach the DSL or a deputy, don’t wait. Anyone can make a referral to children’s social care or contact the police, and your policy will say how. Then tell the DSL as soon as you can. Waiting until the next day is never the safe option.
What if the disclosure is about a member of staff?
If a child tells you an adult in school has harmed them, the route is different. Report it to the headteacher straight away, not to the person concerned and not to colleagues. If it’s about the headteacher, your policy will say who to go to, usually the chair of governors or the trust. The school then works with the local authority designated officer (the LADO), who coordinates how allegations against adults who work with children are handled. That includes supply staff, volunteers and contractors.
The other steps stay the same. Listen, don’t investigate, record the child’s words and report it the same day. Your policy will also set out what to do if you feel a concern about an adult isn’t being taken seriously.
What happens next, and looking after yourself
The DSL looks at what you’ve reported alongside anything they already know. They might monitor the child, arrange support for the family through family help (what used to be called early help), or refer to children’s social care or the police. You might be told what happened, or you might not. That’s normal, and it isn’t a sign you did anything wrong.
Keep it to yourself. Don’t discuss the disclosure with other staff or anyone outside school. Share it only with the people who need to know.
Hearing a child describe harm is hard, and it can stay with you. It’s fine to tell your DSL that you need support afterwards. By listening and passing it on, you’ve done the thing that lets other people protect that child.
For more on this, our safeguarding topic page brings together our guides and courses, and the KCSIE 2026/27 update covers this year’s changes to the guidance.
Understand Your Role within Safeguarding & Child Protection is a short introductory course for anyone who works directly with children in school. It explains the difference between safeguarding and child protection, what your own responsibilities are, and how to respond to a disclosure, so staff in every role know what to do and say when a child tells them something worrying.