DISTRESS | Why remaining physically and emotionally present is enough

In this short video, Pooky shares a reminder that sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is just to unconditionally care and be present in the face of distress.

Further resources

Help Anxious Children Feel Calm & in Control – on demand course

Promote Emotional Regulation in Autistic Children – on demand course

Anxiety – 5 Simple Coping Strategies – on demand course

Simple Self-Soothe Strategies – on demand course

Transcript

Please note that the transcript is auto generated:

i wanted to take a moment just to remind you of the power of simply being there when a child or indeed an adult is distressed i was asked today by someone about how they could help their suicidal teen their teen doesn’t want to talk and they feel helpless and they don’t know what to do and when i asked my network for their advice and you’re all brilliant and thank you for sharing your ideas one of the things that came back really quickly was advice from other parents who’d been in a similar situation saying just be there maybe she doesn’t want to talk but just be there with her by her side and be in silence with her and this is true not just if you are with a suicidal teen but if you are with anyone who is distressed in any way sometimes we can’t fix things sometimes we can’t change things but what we can always do is be kind and caring and compassionate and there when we stay physically and emotionally present with a child or an adult who is distressed it’s so powerful and it helps them to stay connected and over time it builds that bond builds that trust and will create the kind of place the space the connection that’s needed for that love to be kind of truly felt and for things to begin to shift a little so even if you can’t completely change the situation even if you can’t fix things and you have no advice to give sometimes just remaining in the room just being there with those big feelings that someone has just remaining present physically emotionally mentally being available to them and not being scared by their distress sitting with them through it can be hugely hugely powerful what people will find often really powerful and this is particularly true of children and young people or indeed adults who have had perhaps chaotic relationships in the past who might not have formed strong secure attachments with people and might not know that they can rely on others they might find it difficult to trust and to feel safe in the company of others just being there providing unconditional care unconditional love unconditional friendship in the face of their distress sends such a powerful message and even if they are someone who has repeatedly felt let down distance pushed away um then you can begin to help the change that needs to happen happen i could go into the neuroscience of it but basically every single time that someone realizes that you are not going to run away from their distress that you are there that you’re going to be consistently there just quietly caring begins to help their brain to rewire essentially and that’s a really really powerful thing so just by caring just by being there just by staying in the room you’re making so much more difference than you think