How to Have Difficult Conversations

Most of us want to fix things. A colleague, pupil or parent starts to explain what's wrong, and before they've finished you're offering advice, reassuring too soon or filling the silence. They come away feeling you didn't quite hear them.

You'll learn when to lead with empathy and when you need to be assertive. Then there are the six ingredients of good listening: open questions, reflecting back, summarising, checking what words mean to them, small words of encouragement, and thanking them for telling you. The four A's give you a simple structure to follow, and the watchword is support, not solutions.

You'll also look at your own window of tolerance. If you're already overwhelmed or shut down, it's very hard to be there for someone else. Knowing your warning signs helps you pick your moment.